Reviews to make you giggle
ONE STAR REVIEW
I found this on the Ploughshares Blog, and found it so funny that I just had to share it! I'm afraid that none of these reviews are for any of my books (though I wish they were as they are hilarious), but I thought you might enjoy them ... See if you can work out which famous books they come from!
1 Star: Oh, where to even start? I wanted so badly to like this book. The New York Times called it “a trenchant masterpiece,” and it has blurbs from three Nobel Prize winners. So I had sky-high expectations. I anticipated a book that would change my world, that would help me lose twelve pounds and make clear the meaning of life and cure my husband’s erectile dysfunction. This book, while excellent, did none of those things. Threw it across the room on page 20. Ugh. Will not be reading this author again.
The paper was rough to the touch, and after just three weeks the back cover ripped. Also, the book was “like new,” not “new.” Regret ordering from vendor BookXPress314. Do not recommend!!
The author, a known Liberal, has a clear agenda here in including an African-American neighbor and a “lesbian” boss. I read to be entertained, not to have someone’s politics shoved down my throat. I was going to pass this on to my sister, but instead I recycled the book.
I expected this book, which won the Story Prize and the PEN Malamud award, to be a new favorite. Apparently one of the chapters won an O. Henry award, and O. Henry is a highly respected author. But each chapter started off with a completely new set of characters and even a new title! I didn’t see any connection at all between the various chapters. One took place in 1873, and one was set on a distant planet in the future. I worked so hard to find the connections between the chapters, and just couldn’t find one. Too much work, gave up.
a blur in August sky
empty words, chalk on chalkboard
white as the walls of my mother’s basement
puffs of nothing
footnote to literature.
(check out more of my poetry at burnreviewpoet.com!)
If you like highbrow, “well-written” stuff, this might be for you. It seems very “finely wrought” with lots of “fascinating characters” and a “satisfying conclusion,” but ultimately it just wasn’t for me.
I bought this book because there was a cute, sad puppy on the cover. But it turned out to be a literary novel about a puppy mill in a depressed part of Georgia. I don’t read to be bummed out! Next time I guess I’ll have to go that extra mile and read the back of the book before I purchase something. Lesson learned.
This book was not formatted properly for the Kindle 2… You will get a headache trying to read it. Spend the extra money and get the $10 version!
I am an asbestos inspector. As such, I’d expect a novel about an asbestos inspector to get the facts right. And for 345 out of 346 pages it did. But on page 273 was this glaring error: Jake gets paid $2,300 to inspect an office building for asbestos. In 2013, when this novel is set, I was charging $2,450 for an identical inspection. That’s a $150 difference. This book does not reflect my personal experience, and thus I can’t, in good conscience, recommend it.
If there were an option for 3.7 stars, that’s what I’d give this, but since there isn’t, I’m giving it one star.
This will be a short review, because I only read the first paragraph. But in that time, I just couldn’t latch on to any of the characters or any real sense of plot. There was nothing at stake, and no development. I was completely unsatisfied. Burned the book, and have spent the past two hours reviewing it on all my favorite sites. Save yourself from this one, folks!
I consider myself a connesir of fiction novels but this book was a definate waist of time, it had no morale, it’s writing was poor, I had a hard time following the mane plot, terrible.
It would be a five-star review, but on page 128 the author used the F-word, which is something I simply cannot condone. I finished the book and I loved it, but I have to give it one star. I hope this teaches the author a lesson.
I did not read this book, but I saw the movie. I felt that Matthew McConaughey’s character was completely unbelievable. He’s supposed to be playing a college student? He’s at least twenty years too old, and I’ve never been able to stand that cocky twang he has going. One star.
I couldn’t find the symbols. I think maybe the bird on page 22 was a symbol? But I don’t know what of.
I would imagine this author would be the kind of person who, if you took a college writing workshop with her, would tell you that your characters were flat when actually it was her characters who were flat, and she’d probably also flirt with your boyfriend at the Sigma Chi winter formal, and then she’d go and become this really successful writer when you’re stuck as a paralegal, which is never what you even wanted to do. Just my guess, but this author probably only deserves one star for this book, which I refuse to buy.
9/11/2015 04:45:28 am
Who won the beautiful necklace?
9/11/2015 11:54:04 am
As of right now, you just did.
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